From the Publisher (New
Harbinger Publications, Inc.):
It is a rare parent who never
regrets her sharp words and his bad moods that
darken family life like a cloud covering the sun.
Try as one might, nothing seems to stop the pattern
of acting poorly in spite of the best intentions.
"Why can’t I treat my kids the way I know in my
heart is best?" is a common unvoiced question for
most parents.
Our new book, Why Can’t I Be the
Parent I Want to Be? by Drs. Charles H. Elliott and
Laura L. Smith, helps parents get to the root of
seemingly unfathomable parenting behaviors. Unlike
scores of other parenting books, Why Can’t I Be the
Parent I Want to Be? is not another how-to book on
parenting. Parents don’t need more advice. They do
need to recognize the emotional issues that keep
them from parenting the way they already know they
should.
The authors teach the
old-fashioned way-----with stories about three
families taking the journey toward becoming better
parents. Each family presents several specific
parenting problems. There’s Quinton and Debra, the
mother who wants a good child but has a
troublemaker, whose problems she blames on others.
And Jerod and Jennifer, the mother who can’t say no
and now blames only herself for her child’s
problems. There’s Kenneth, Sally, Lindsey, and
Nick---parents that love their kids but whose family
life is tense, secret, and silent.
According to the authors, the
first step out of these dilemmas is to identify the
emotional obstacles to good parenting. These
obstacles are known as schemas, a term only recently
appreciated by psychologists. Schemas act like
lenses that exert enormous emotional power. Why
Can’t I Be the Parent I Want to Be? helps readers
discover their own schemas, their repetitive nature,
and the power they wield. The authors guide them
through a journey of self-understanding,
self-acceptance, and innovative ways of changing
both thought and behavior. By the end of that
journey, parents will have discovered how to be the
parents that already exist in their hearts.
Endorsements for Why Can’t I Be the Parent I Want to
Be?:
What the
Experts are Saying About
Why Can’t I Be
the Parent I Want to Be?
In a boldly innovative approach,
Drs. Elliott and Smith have written a book which is
sure to become a classic parenting resource. In it
they teach parents how to change the way they think
so they can rise to every challenge in their
children's development. Through a series of very
engaging and realistic stories, the authors usher
readers through the process of identifying their
core beliefs, understanding their impact on
parenting style, and building the skills that help
them reach their goals.
Dr. Richard B. Stuart
Former President, Association for the Advancement of
Behavior Therapy
In a masterful way, these authors
draw on their immense clinical experience to provide
a clear, comprehensive guide for parents attempting
to do what is best for their children. This is the
first volume to apply well-established principles of
cognitive therapy to enable parents to overcome the
emotional obstacles to achieving this goal. This is
a book not only for parents but for all mental
health professionals.
Aaron T. Beck, M.D.
University Professor of Psychiatry
University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine
